[ The video opens up and Alex is clearly standing inside a less-than-classy porn store and the camera is tilted just a little bit, because he's propped his Cuddlephone up against the cash register. If he's nervous, it doesn't show beyond the gesture of running his hand through his moppy curls before he speaks. ]Hey, so...I'm Alex. I'm new here and I don't think I know...like anybody. Except you.
[ He smirks and points at the camera and winks. ] You know who you are.
[ The playful expression drops away again for something a little bit more serious as he continues. ]Anyway, so...I tried to get a job at the local uh...toy store...but that shit was way too classy for a guy like me. And I got to thinking...it might be too classy for other people, too. It's intimidating, a little, right? Trying to buy sex toys in a shop that looks like you could get kicked out for wearing sweatpants or breaking something by accident?
Whatever, so I talked to, uh...
[ He waves a hand in a fluttery gesture as he tries to recall the correct phrase. ] city officials or whatever and told them I'd be down to manage a new place if they wanted to, you know, put one somewhere. Their suggestion was that I take out a loan and open one myself, so...I said fuck it and I did. Shit gets done
fast around here, so...
[ He picks up the camera and does a quick-ish pan of the store before propping the Cuddlephone back up against the register. ]She ain't much, but she's open for business. Also! I'm hiring. So...you know. That's a thing. Come get paid a little over minimum wage to stand around having dildo fights and watching Netflix or whatever when there's no customers. I imagine it'll be a while before we get busy enough to, you know, not be doing that.
Any takers for the job? If not, hopefully at least I'll see some of you popping in. Help a guy out. It would really bruise a bro's pride to crash and burn at their first attempt to make an entrepreneur of themselves and you don't want to be a contributor to that, do you?
[ Cue the little grin that cuts dimples into his cheeks. ]So I'll see you there. Here. Adult World. Come check it out. Deuces!
[ He salutes the camera then and the feed cuts. ]