Today's Conversational Topic:

DATING: HOW?

because i can't be the only person in this place who struggles with that most basic of concepts. all my exes have either been douchebags, nazis, or reckless hero types who end up dead. which isn't a stellar track record and would scare most sensible people away so you can see where i'm coming from.

and i know, i know, i could help all the old ladies across the street while i'm here, i don't need to go down the handholding route, but i'm pretty sure bingo club has taken out a restraining order. maybe i want to get back on that scary, scary horse. but here i am, pushing a certain decade, and i have no idea where to start. also, kind of still suspicious.

so tips! pointers! anything! no, not anything. if anyone says 'just be yourself' they're going to regret it. i did that. ex still ended up a nazi. blah blah.

so how would you get your groove back, cadelle?

( Also if anyone tries to reverse-engineer this post, they get redirected here. )

( Sansa isn't the best at navigating the network but she does know how to use some basic options here and there. She knows how to respond to a video in video and she knows how to send a text but at the moment, she's trying to send a text with photographs. The photographs in question are explicit for her: lying in bed with naught but a sheet to cover her, standing and turned to the side while wearing only her corset and chemise, a photograph of her with loose hair and parted lips that's close enough that she can see the blush in her skin. She attaches them to a text message and sends them out, hoping to surprise Miles with her new use of technology for his benefit. )

I attached a few things you may find interesting. Open them in a private place?

( When Sansa hears her own device chirp as soon as it's sent, she frowns a bit and checks her network timeline. Oh no. Oh no. She immediately makes an urgent post to the network while trying to figure out how to delete the original one. )

PLEASE DON'T LOOK AT MY LAST POST. IT WASN'T MEANT FOR EVERYONE! I DIDN'T MEAN FOR ANYONE TO SEE IT EXCEPT BABY.

( Sansa tosses the device away and calls Lady to her, deciding to simply hide in her house until she figures out how to delete that post and everyone has forgotten her face. )

[Malia got super excited when she thought she got some deer jerky as a random thank you gift from the city. Then she actually smelt it and she was very disappointed to find out that it wasn't real meat. :(

It's not that she has anything vegans, they can do whatever they want with their bodies and their appetites and if they want to eat bird food then that's fine. But Malia likes meat. In fact, Malia loves meat. So she is zero interest in eating this jerky, thank you very much.

But she's not going to let it go to waste, either, and hey! Maybe she can get some bonus "nice person" points by giving it away, hence this video of Malia lying on her stomach crushing a cute plush coyote underneath her as she talks.]

Anybody like vegan jerky?

[She'll hold up one of the bags and dangle it in front of the camera.]

I got some as a gift from the city, but fake meat is weird. Free to anyone who wants it.

[Please take it off her hands, thank you.]

[ When the video starts, it shows Nate sitting behind a desk, a book in his hands, feet up on the desk, boots beating the rhythm of a song in the background - if you're anywhere from his time, you may recognize Crank That, by Soulja Boy. The desk is a mess of papers and books and pens, haphazard.

Nate looks at the camera, the spine of the book in his hands reading Cadelle Through The Ages. ]

Fun fact for you, Cadelle. [ And then he looks back down at the book, reading out loud: ]

At Clementine Cadelle's funeral in 1845, her pet parrot, (that she requested in her will should attend,) had to be removed because it was swearing. It was heard using the term 'shitstick' as it sat perched on the front pew. She apparently also had a pet bear, whom did not attend the funeral.

[ He closes the book, a crooked grin on his face as he looks back up. ]

Now, if it was possible here, I'd totally go back in time just to meet her. Tell me, which historical figure would you like to meet if you had the chance?

[GOOD MORNING CADELLE! Have a very excited Stiles all on your screen, making sure that he can be seen. He's totally at the Worm Hole, and god help you all someone let him behind the bar.]

So, just in case anyone's wondering, I'm the newest bartender over at the Worm Hole!

[he tries to spin a bottle all Tom Cruise like... and it drops. There's a grimace on his face as he looks back at the camera]

I'm still working on that part. But no, really, if you get bored and want to come visit me, I'm supposed to practice making the drinks on the menu and I need some volunteers...

[victims. He means victims]

... to come and give me their opinions. You can get one drink on the house from me, but it's only for this week only.

What do you say?

[and he goes to spin another bottle, and hey he manages to catch it again! And with a triumphant victory smile, the feed ends]

So, hey Cadelleans. Cadellers? ...Cadellites?

[nope, they all sound bad. really bad. but he's just going to stop himself grimacing at that and refocus on the whole point of this message.]

My name's Scott. I've met a couple of you when I was-- [he holds a hand up, palm down in the universal sign of "shorter".] I went home for a while, so to anybody I knew before? Sorry for everything. I was...kind of an ass back then, and I know I said a lot of things I probably shouldn't have. [though given that he's already made up with his pack, he's already dealt with the worst of it all.]

Anyway. We're all here for the same reason. [the possibilities, rather than the specifics.] So what I was thinking was that maybe we set up some kind of monthly movie night? I don't know how many of you have been to the cinema here, but they've got one screen that'd really work out great with the whole bonding-slash-intimacy thing. No seats. Just huge pillows, and the manager is up for letting us use it every month if we want to.

[it counts as an act of good will for her, and they can all add to their own energy generation with a little snuggletime while they watch. it's win-win.]

Think of it as an easy way to get a quick boost towards your goals while making a few new friends along the way. [a pause, and--] And before I forget. Any recommendations for the first movie-fest?

[just no star wars. stiles will kill him if he finally watches the films and he isn't there to witness it.

...wow does he miss the rest of his pack already. it hasn't even been a month yet.]