video; un: marginalized_other

[marginalized]

[ The video opens up and Alex is clearly standing inside a less-than-classy porn store and the camera is tilted just a little bit, because he's propped his Cuddlephone up against the cash register. If he's nervous, it doesn't show beyond the gesture of running his hand through his moppy curls before he speaks. ]

Hey, so...I'm Alex. I'm new here and I don't think I know...like anybody. Except you. [ He smirks and points at the camera and winks. ] You know who you are. [ The playful expression drops away again for something a little bit more serious as he continues. ]

Anyway, so...I tried to get a job at the local uh...toy store...but that shit was way too classy for a guy like me. And I got to thinking...it might be too classy for other people, too. It's intimidating, a little, right? Trying to buy sex toys in a shop that looks like you could get kicked out for wearing sweatpants or breaking something by accident?

Whatever, so I talked to, uh... [ He waves a hand in a fluttery gesture as he tries to recall the correct phrase. ] city officials or whatever and told them I'd be down to manage a new place if they wanted to, you know, put one somewhere. Their suggestion was that I take out a loan and open one myself, so...I said fuck it and I did. Shit gets done fast around here, so...

[ He picks up the camera and does a quick-ish pan of the store before propping the Cuddlephone back up against the register. ]

She ain't much, but she's open for business. Also! I'm hiring. So...you know. That's a thing. Come get paid a little over minimum wage to stand around having dildo fights and watching Netflix or whatever when there's no customers. I imagine it'll be a while before we get busy enough to, you know, not be doing that.

Any takers for the job? If not, hopefully at least I'll see some of you popping in. Help a guy out. It would really bruise a bro's pride to crash and burn at their first attempt to make an entrepreneur of themselves and you don't want to be a contributor to that, do you?

[ Cue the little grin that cuts dimples into his cheeks. ]

So I'll see you there. Here. Adult World. Come check it out. Deuces!

[ He salutes the camera then and the feed cuts. ]

Comments

un: byteme

[foreshock]

you got a website yet?

[marginalized]

Uhhh...

Do I need a website...?

[ Stan and Mary Anne never had a website for their store because they hadn't wanted to mess around with online sales and distribution. It never even crossed his mind when he'd been getting all of this together that a website might benefit him and his business. ]

[foreshock]

some people like the more anonymous approach when it comes to filling the bedside drawer.
you might get more takers.

[marginalized]

I guess... I don't know why anyone would want to buy something like that sight unseen, I feel like that's setting one's self up for disappointment, but you're probably right.

Wouldn't having an online store also mean that I would need someone to run said store? Keep the inventory up to date with what I actually have and all that? Because that's like...out of my wheelhouse, so...

[foreshock]

listen, i get you.
i want to feel the girth before i move the earth.
but people are kind of embarrassed about this thing.

( She does ... need ... a job. She was going to offer her hacking services, but. )

hire me.
if you can't pay me just yet then i accept sandwiches.
and i am a master of the internet.

[marginalized]

Oof, that's kind of a tall order when I literally have zero sales under my belt to justify wiggling something new into my budget. Give me a couple of weeks open and then I should have a better idea of where my budget can actually stretch? Because, again, you're probably right, but I just don't have it in my budget right now unless you want to also work behind the counter for a while in the meantime and kind of wear two hats?

[foreshock]

i'll wear all the hats.
i'm living in a van, i'm like, the most bored person in the world.

[marginalized]

All right, well stop by and let's talk. We'll take it from there. Sound like a plan?

[foreshock]

sure!
when's good?

[marginalized]

Whenever between noon and eight.

Un:sidekick

[nursetemple]

How different from the other store are your goods? Is it the same stuff only in a more relaxed environment?

Also would you be willing to have like, a bowl of free condoms or something at the counter? I’ve got them at the clinic, want to spread them around for people to use.

[marginalized]

Yes and no? I'll be honest, I didn't go through their ENTIRE store, but we also have magazines and DVD/Bluray rentals in addition to like toys and inflatables and costumes and lube and, you know, all that other stuff. I'd be here forever listing it all off.

Oh yeah, totally. I'm a huge proponent of safe sex. As long as they're plain and they don't like glow in the dark or have flavors or any like novelty sort of thing like the ones I sell, I'm one hundred percent willing to have a bowl of standard condoms on the front counter. For sure.

[nursetemple]

Cool. Maybe I’ll come visit, then

And that’s excellent. They’re totoally plain and standard! Just want to give any chance for people to protect themselves

[marginalized]

Cool, yeah. I'll see you soon then, if you do.

Yeah, no problem. I can totally get behind that.

[nursetemple]

Grand
You and I will get along great ;)

[marginalized]

Score, I got a good feeling about it, myself.

un: sallysass

[passedthedoor]

I'm sorry...did you say dildo fights? Because I literally can't even think about anything else after hearing that. That's like....one of the best things I've ever heard.

Also, are there any qualifications for selling toys other than not being afraid of them because not gonna lie...no job, and my interest is piqued.

Also, I'm Sally, hi!

[marginalized]

I did, in fact. If you've never done it, you should try it. But only if you work in the place,
because otherwise that's a pretty good way to get yourself kicked out of the store. It's a good time, though, I'm not gonna lie about it.

No, just be open-minded, non-judgemental, willing to learn, and bonus if you already know how to use a cash register.

Hey Sally, nice to meet you. You should stop in.

[passedthedoor]

You're my favorite person of the day for that and that alone, just for the record. And I promise if I don't get the job I will not dildo fight in your store, even though it'd be really tempting after that raving review.

I think I might fit the bill there. I mean it's been a while since I used a cash register, so there might be some rust-brain going on, but the others are all boxes I tick.

Likewise and I definitely will, if for nothing else than to see your store, Alex!

[marginalized]

Haha yes, my work here is done. Honestly, the only way you could not get the job is if you are literally the worst interview of all time. I have faith in you, Sally. Come on down!

Yeah and every register is different, but if you have a general knowledge, you'll pick it up quick. You're good.

Cool, I'll see you soon, then. Looking forward to it!

[passedthedoor]

Obviously you know how to rope 'em in. And while I can put my foot in my mouth my charm usually makes up for that, even in interviews, so! I probably got this, haha!

You keep selling it and I'm already on the hook! I'll totally stop by asap to apply, honestly. Gotta start somewhere, and a place like this sounds pretty great to re-enter the workforce after not having been in it in like...forever now.

[marginalized]

I mean, I won't lie, I was hoping that might be a draw for someone. If you can't get pumped about a job where you can sword fight with dildos, then I don't want you working for me anyway, know what I mean?

Did you go back to school or something?

[passedthedoor]

I know exactly what you mean, actually. You seem like my kind of people, Alex. A man after my own funny bone!

Not quite. Not to be morbid and overshare - like I have been with everyone, actually - but I was dead for a few years. Kind of hard to work anywhere when you're a ghost and not everyone in the world can see you. Luckily, I am very much alive here...just for the reocrd.

[marginalized]

Ha, perfect.

...like legit...? That's fucking crazy, for real? Holy shit, that sounds like a story waiting to be told, huh?

[passedthedoor]

Yeeeeah, I was legitimately dead. Being a ghost wasn't the worst thing ever, but it is kind of a big 'ol story....and it was pretty crazy not even gonna lie. And I'm not super shy about sharing it so if you're curious about how it works - and all that - totally not scared to share, on my part.

[marginalized]

Yeah, I'm definitely going to have to hear that story at some point, that's for sure.
Not online, I want to like REALLY hear it. Maybe over dinner? Before you interview, you know, so it's not sexual harassment.

[ He's mostly joking about that but not entirely. ]

[passedthedoor]

I think that can be arranged! And, by the way, it's only sexual harassment if it's unwanted attention, last I checked and you seem way too cool for that kind of thing!

[marginalized]

Well that definitely makes me feel better, at least. How's tonight?

[passedthedoor]

Tonight is all open and all your's. Got a place in mind or should we put our heads together?

[marginalized]

Depends on whether you have anything in mind that you definitely do or don't want.
If you don't, then I have a couple of ideas. Meet at the shop and go from there? Say six-ish?

[passedthedoor]

I am pretty damn open.

And I like surprises, most of the time, so I'll see you at six-ish. And I'm looking forward to it.

[marginalized]

Perfect, see you then. Me too.