1. TEXT ➳ UN: ALIGHT

[risers]

[ it comes in the middle of the night: ]

The more you take, the more you leave behind. What am I?

[ though he could easily write a post to engage with the network at large, doing that is too simple. alec isn't too interested in placing more of his personal information online for anyone to find — privacy is key, and being in the shadows is literally what he does best. ]

[ in other words: alec's bored but doesn't want to be clary levels of social. ]

Comments

[risers]

[ that's something right out of max's (and jace's) mouth. alec doesn't feel the need to tell her riddles are great for honing out your common sense and thinking skills, considering he doesn't like listening to long-winded stories that feel like a riddle. to each their own. ]

You got a joke, then?

[wildkingdom]

[Look, her dad talks in riddles professionally, and he's kind of a dick so it hasn't left her with warm fuzzy feelings about riddles.]

What do you call a blind dinosaur?

[ARE YOU READY FOR HER FAVORITE JOKE IN THE WORLD?]

[risers]

[ he is not ready for this. ]

Don't know. What?

[wildkingdom]

Do-You-Think-He-Saur-Us.

[BEST JOKE EVER.]

What do you call a blind dinosaur's dog?

[risers]

[ oh my god, malia made alec laugh. ]

Hm. It can't be the same as the blind dinosaur's name. What?

[wildkingdom]

[SUCCESS.]

Do-You-Think-He-Saur-Us Rex.

[Clearly you do not know how jokes work, Alec.]

[risers]

Haha. I think my little brother would love your dinosaur jokes.

[ score points for malia, he's taking those two jokes home to tell max. ]

You got any more?

[wildkingdom]

[Jokes designed for kids = clearly a hit with Malia. She does have some more and she thinks your brother has a good sense of humor.]

Where does an alligator keep their money?

[risers]

River bank. Max told me this one.

What do you call an alligator in a vest?

[wildkingdom]

An In-Vest-igator?

[She doesn't actually know if that's right, she's just guessing.]

[risers]

Damn. You've heard that one before?

What do you get from a pampered cow?

[wildkingdom]

I guessed. But I definitely don't know that one.

[risers]

Spoiled milk.

I can see why you prefer jokes over riddles. They're more funnier.

[wildkingdom]

[You can't see the face she makes at that.]

Right? Plus riddles can be too hard.

How do you know there's an elephant under your bed?

[risers]

You can see the trunk?

[ in a world where elephants can fit under beds, perhaps. ]

[wildkingdom]

Your head hits the ceiling.

What do you call a cow with no legs?

[risers]

Hmm. No clue. What is it?

[wildkingdom]

Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs?

[risers]

[ that is a very savage joke, malia. ]

Not ground beef?

[wildkingdom]

[Hey, she is not above calling cows what they are.]

Lean beef.

[risers]

You should consider doing stand-up. Bet your delivery is better than in person than it is through text.

[wildkingdom]

Maybe. I've never really tried it before.