cuddletalk | 1. TEXT ➳ UN: ALIGHT

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1. TEXT ➳ UN: ALIGHT

[ it comes in the middle of the night: ]

The more you take, the more you leave behind. What am I?

[ though he could easily write a post to engage with the network at large, doing that is too simple. alec isn't too interested in placing more of his personal information online for anyone to find — privacy is key, and being in the shadows is literally what he does best. ]

[ in other words: alec's bored but doesn't want to be clary levels of social. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Are you seriously riddling us all rn?
Bro

[ if this was face to face, alec would simply stare at "cdog". ]

You don't know the answer.

[ it's not a question, but a challenge. ]

woah
woah
woah

are you challenging me?
Cause you gonna regret this.

[He doesn't know but shut up, he will so get this.]

I'm waiting for my mind to be blown. Is it going to be anytime tonight? I've got plans tomorrow.

[ the most expression shown in a text goes to this very one. congratulations, cisco, you actually won the lottery here. ]

Okay, okay.
Cool.
Let's do this thing.

Clearly the answer is
You know
A really ill-thought out robbery. In a house with too much stuff. That regenerates stuff when stuff is taken.

[He does not know. At all. But he's gonna wing it. He will fight for his right to ~~party~~ win this argument.]

Interesting.

[ it is. alec's feeling a flicker of amusement within his cold dead soul. the fact "cdog" reminds him a little of max only further endears him to the idea of responding back with an encouragement to continue digging this hole. ]

But regeneration doesn't exist in this scenario. Your final answer still hoarders being robbed?

Woah
I'm sorry
So can you point out to me where, exactly, you set up rules for this riddle
where regeneration doesn't exist?

I stick by my original answer. It's like a video game where you come back with more exp and the items regenerated even though you looted it last time so you take your stuff and it's better stuff cause, you know, higher levels and all.

You're being pedantic!

[ tldr. ]

You want to set up the world your answer lives in? I didn't get this was a video game with the ability to trade exp for regenerative items from "you rob people."

Your video game sounds like it has a bug.

[ guess who has never played a video game in his life! ]

What if my video game is about stealing?

Then it's fool proof and
look, all games have a looting options.
Well, all good games.

My answer works and you NEVER GAVE ANY RULES so I solved it.

But I can solve it another way if you want?

I like your answer, even though it's ridiculous.

[ it is, it really is ridiculous. only a special type of person can take an easy riddle and turn it into a full blown affair of "this is what it could be and this is what i'm going to make it!" ]

You want another one, but with rules?

For the record, my second answer to this riddle?
Pokemon.
Think about it, it'll blow your mind.

[It's more fun to guess ridic answers than it is to google. That and copy and pasting is hard work on a phone and he's feeling lazy.]

Come at me, bro.

[ is it wrong alec wants to see how ridiculous his answers and explanations of convincing him what's right and what's not? ]

What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years?

Title of my sex tape.

[SELF BURN.]

Na, but, for real??? A confusing time paradox because the time machine broke and technically it never came in the thousand years because of the pre-breakage timeline BUT it came all the other times. Technically.

[That sounds legit to him.]

[ ... tf. ]

[ alec stares at this, and stares at this, and stares at this. max had made him watch "back to the future" over and over and over until the cows literally came home, but time travel and time machines are not his forte. he's unresponsive for a good solid minute before he so eloquently answers: ]

What?

Trust me, this is sorta my jam so
time travel is weird shit and that is legit possible and I can draw you a diagram
but
how about we just call this a win on my end.

Come on, dude, you're like 0 to 2

I'm DESTROYING you.

Technically you're destroying yourself not answering them correctly.

[ but, he'll relent. don't be such a sourpuss, alec. he can hear everyone he know telling him this at this very moment. ]

What did the peanut butter say to the bread?

You say that but nothing I've said has been wrong.

[He's not a riddle guy, never been one, he is a problem solver. This is how he's solving his problems.]

I dunno, dude
Depends on the bread
Are we talking like gluten free or whole wheat? White bread or that fifty/fifty stuff?

[ the angel help him. ]

White bread.

How does it depend on the bread? Bread is bread.

Bread is not just bread, okay?
Let's just establish this now.

like

I'm sorry but if the peanut butter was talking to some weird gluten free bread or rye bread then it's gonna be like 'yo, you suck' cause that kind of bread always sucks

and wholemeal is wrong for peanut butter, you know?

[ omg. ]

For the record, the peanut butter likes all types of bread. There's no point of discriminating.

So what did the peanut butter say to the white bread?

I want to be all over you!

woah
okay
no
wait

that came out way dirtier and sexier than I actually meant it to
That's my bad

I deserve butter than this?
I loaf you?

I was going to write another bread pun but i thought this was getting a little

stale

[COMEDY GENIUS RIGHT HERE.]

[ ... ]

Quit loafing around, the bread's way past stale.

[ the answer to the riddle is in the first three words, but alec doesn't want to tell cisco. in fact, he wants to replace that answer wtih cisco's numerous ones. ]

You 3
Alec 0

I'll gracefully concede. It's what bread does to peanut butter.

See, now you get it.
The beautiful logic of Cisco Ramon.
You're so lucky.

I would give you a riddle but I think that'd just create a bigger mess

and I'm tentatively afraid at this rate, you'll kill me in my sleep with a bag of bread and a jar of peanut butter.

text | un: cdog

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