un: littlebird | text | locked to: lydia, clary, caroline, kimberly

[theladyofwinterfell]

is it normal for a man to wish his lover not to be around? i've somehow angered baby and i'm not certain why he would want space away from me.

Comments

[sanguinescry]

Oh, okay. So there's the thing. Most guys get all weird about that. Why, I have no idea, because half the time, when it happens, it's because they've given us a reason to think that they want us to. You know what?
No biggie. Give Baby the space he wants so bad that he couldn't be bothered to mention it until now (WHATEVER, seriously, I hate that so much when guys do that)...and we'll find stuff to do that's just for you.

Then he'll wake up and realize he's being kind of a douche, he'll apologize, and life goes on <3

[theladyofwinterfell]

are you certain this will work? what if he discovers he prefers the time alone?

[sanguinescry]

If he discovers that he prefers the time alone, then he sucks and we find you someone better, but I'm pretty sure this is going to blow over. It always does, hon. I feel like if it was the kind of thing he'd find he prefers, he'd probably have just said he wanted to go on a break, like break up. You're good.

[theladyofwinterfell]

He very clearly said it wasn't breaking up so I think he intends to see me once he has had his space. I just didn't know he'd want space to begin with.

[sanguinescry]

You're from a different culture, so there are bound to be times when what you're used to and what he's used to don't exactly mesh and then you'll have little hiccups like this. As long as you guys clearly communicate with one another (something he clearly needs to be told you want him to do from now on...), then you should be okay.

[theladyofwinterfell]

I am certain you are right, Lydia. I just care for him so much I don’t want to do anything wrong.

[sanguinescry]

I usually am when it comes to other people's business. Now, when it comes to my own stuff? Then it's maybe 50/50 haha.

Listen...it's going to blow over and you'll be fine. You're not doing anything wrong; he didn't communicate with you. How are you supposed to change anything if you're not aware that the thing is an issue? So you guys need to have an open discussion after this and you need to lay out ground rules: honest and open communication, always. It has to be a rule, or this will not be the last time the two of you have a misunderstanding like this and that's no good, because it's completely avoidable.

[theladyofwinterfell]

I will talk to him soon and we will discuss these things. I know my expectations are different than others because of where I come from.

[sanguinescry]

But even if it had nothing to do with where you come from, you guys should definitely still be communicating because it's impossible for either of you to have the right expectations if you don't know where to begin.

[theladyofwinterfell]

Very much so. I have never had an intimate relationship with a man, a true one that I wanted to be with, so all of this is new to me.

[sanguinescry]

And he's probably never been with someone from a culture like yours, so part of it is new for him, too, I'd bet. You'll get there. You just have to communicate and be patient with each other.

[theladyofwinterfell]

Thank you for listening, Lydia.

[sanguinescry]

Of course, any time.