video; un: patty

[taskforcing]

Greetings my fellow citizens of Cuddle City! [ she makes a face because that sounded so... dorky but whatever moving on.]

My name is Patty Spivot and while this city seems safe enough, you can never be too careful. I was a police officer back home in Central City and I wanted to do my part to help. So I'll be offering self-defense lessons private or maybe even a group one, depending on how many people are interested.

Let me know.

[ she's about to turn off the camera before--] Oh! And don't worry, it won't be a 'wax on, wax off' kind of thing, we'll be doing some hands-on and very effective self-defense training.

Comments

[taskforcing]

Your name seems familiar to me... I've probably read something of yours. [ let's be real, patty is probably the kind of person who still gets a newspaper and reads it all. ]

[scovilles]

I didn't think anybody but bookies and old white guys read the sports pages. ( not that patty's an old white guy... but... okay. ) Kind of nice to know somebody's reading.

[taskforcing]

Honestly? It helped stake outs be more bearable.

[scovilles]

Are you getting the whole Match.com missed connections vibe here, or is that just me?

( she's kidding. mostly. right? )

You should definitely hit me up if-slash-when we get back to Central City. I almost always have an extra ticket for Combines games — we can hassle the players together, see if we can't score a locker room invite.

[taskforcing]

Why wait until we get back to Central City? We can always find something here to do. [ she smiles.] I don't know if this place has any professional teams but there's got to be a place with attractive guys that we can ogle, respectfully.

[scovilles]

Oh, if it's dude ogling you want, Sucker Punch is totally the place. Boxing rings, shirtless guys wailing on punching bags, the occasional water bottle shower...

( if it sounds like she's been there before... well, you're not wrong in that assumption, patty. )

I don't know that it's necessarily respectable, but hey, it gets the job done.

[taskforcing]

And we can get a work out in too? Seems like a good two birds and one stone situation to me.