ANONYMOUS | text.

[foreshock]

Today's Conversational Topic:

DATING: HOW?

because i can't be the only person in this place who struggles with that most basic of concepts. all my exes have either been douchebags, nazis, or reckless hero types who end up dead. which isn't a stellar track record and would scare most sensible people away so you can see where i'm coming from.

and i know, i know, i could help all the old ladies across the street while i'm here, i don't need to go down the handholding route, but i'm pretty sure bingo club has taken out a restraining order. maybe i want to get back on that scary, scary horse. but here i am, pushing a certain decade, and i have no idea where to start. also, kind of still suspicious.

so tips! pointers! anything! no, not anything. if anyone says 'just be yourself' they're going to regret it. i did that. ex still ended up a nazi. blah blah.

so how would you get your groove back, cadelle?

( Also if anyone tries to reverse-engineer this post, they get redirected here. )

Comments

un: steel

[istoriografos]

i wouldn't mention that dating history of yours. it can't scare people away if they don't know.

also, there are no nazis here, it's pretty frowned upon. now there might still be douchebags but i can't recommend living your life suspicious of everyone all the time, it must be exhausting.

maybe you shouldn't think so much about it? spend time with whoever you've met that you like?

[recoined]

( kimberly's beginning to get the idea that the city might just need a remedial course in dating 101. like summer school, but for adults. 'how to not be a total weirdo and actually go on dates'. )

find attractive people
ask them on a date
go on date
have fun???

it's really not that hard...

@dl.lance

[prosecutorial]

Okay, I thought I had a bad dating history, but I don't think even the worst asshole of my bad boy phase could measure up to "Nazi." My condolences.

[A beat.]

Though if you wanted a little commiseration I'd be happy to go for a drink.

also anon;

[duelo]

I literally could have written this in my sleep. When you get a good answer, do some of us a favor and share with the class.

un: sallysass

[passedthedoor]

As someone whose ex literally killed her I get the big, scary hurdle, but you want to get back on the horse and the only thing to really do is do it. It's what I did when I went for re-entering the dating scene. And I know it sounds so simple and plain but there's no one way and it all boils down to that. Plus, y'know, you kind of can't hold nazi, wreckless, douchebag heroes against yourself forever or you're getting nowhere.

As long as you think you've grown from that and want different you just have to make up your mind to follow through with that.

Make your mind up what you're ready for - casual hook up, dating around, whatever - and then go for it. Use a dating app, buy a guy a drink (or hell a book or something I don't think what matters there so long as it gets his...or her..attention), or whatever you're comfortable with. Try hitting on someone you wouldn't normally go for - or try just going for friendship and see what grows if the pressure is too much and you can't really wrap your head around it and get comfortable because that's kind of one of he most important bits.