video. un: hartbeat.

[recoined]

( kimberly hart does not have time for this. this, of course, being the entire wishing well garbage. she's currently seated on one of the stone benches, elbows resting on her knees, one hand pressed firmly to the bridge of her nose as she tries her best to ignore the casual bitching of her friend in the background. her friend who is, you know, currently half in the water. her friend that's a goddamn fucking mermaid, with a great big giant floppy tail and everything, who just so happens to also not have a fucking shirt on.  

it's just a lot, okay, and kimberly isn't really prepared for it. she hasn't had nearly enough caffeine yet today, but she can't just sit here either. so. head up, face the camera, smile. go back to being a cheerleader, and just focus on getting through halftime. or something, whatever. she's a bit out of practice. )

Hey, so — ( and as soon as the words get out of her mouth, clary's high pitched freakout can be heard steadily rising in volume in the background; kimberly's whole body turns like a whip, voice snapping, ) Clary! Can you not!

( which, okay, maybe it's a little harsh, but. whatever. she's trying to help. )

Hey. So. Cadelle. Does anybody have, like, a wheelbarrow... or a hose... or one of those stupid Nerf water pistols? Because my friend here just turned herself into a goddamn mermaid — yes, Clary, I'm talking about you!

( more fingertips pinching the bridge of her nose. more deep breaths. she can do this. focus. think about yoga. )

Does anybody have anything that might help? Or know what kind of fish merpeople eat? Or... anything?

( please, for the love of god, anything. )

That'd be great. If you could, like, let me know? Or maybe come help out, if you've got stuff? Or — oh! — if anybody knows where I can get a kiddie pool? Yeah. That'd be good too.

( somebody help her. )

Anyway, yeah. That's... that's about it. Thanks? Okay, bye.

( end feed. )

Comments

un: steel; video

[istoriografos]

[ Good to know some people got themselves into worse situations than he did. At his worst, he's just like, a handsome dude who's shirts keep on falling off of him because apparently the oil on his chest is magic or something, what the hell does he know. At least he's not a merman. ]

Technically if you follow some myths about mermaids, they kinda eat... men...

But I'm sure seafood of any kind would be fine?

[ Eek. ]

I can carry her if you need, by the way, I'm like the strongman at the circus right now. [ All the time, actually, but right now he really looks like it. ]

[recoined]

( WHY IS THIS HAPPENING. )

Men?! ( no. sorry, clary, you can't be a cannibal. ) I thought they were, like, dolphin people? I can't just give her a dragon roll from the sushi place??

( this is too much. nate is too much. she'll have to squint now, though, and take her hands away from her face — and then try really hard not to burst out laughing at how fucking shiny this guy is. the oil is very... reflective. )

Okay, Baywatch. But we have to have somewhere to carry her to, and I don't think our bathtub is big enough.

[creatio]

I'm not going to eat a man!

( Yeah, sorry. That's shouted through Kimberly's own feed, Clary is sounding a little shrill. It's weird. Usually she's so chill. )

I can't even sing!

[istoriografos]

It depends on the legend, but some of them were rumored to be these beautiful sea creatures that sang to attract ships, and men would throw themselves overboard to find them because they were so enticing, and there you go, fish food.

[ Shrug. He didn't write it! ]

I'm sure she still eats the same things. Did you ask her? Is she even hungry?

[ Oh wow you did not just call him Baywatch. ]

One, I'm not a lifeguard, and two, okay so if we can't do Splash, does Cadelle have a pool? A spa, maybe?

[recoined]

( ... that's ridiculous. if kimberly wasn't in partial panic mode, maybe she could appreciate the concept of beautiful women who lured men to their death only to eat them. but not right now. )

I mean, she's screeching, so who knows? She's going to have to eat eventually, though.

( this is too much. it's all so much and so weird and she's just Not Prepared for any of it. )

Okay, well, it was either Baywatch or romance novel dude, and Baywatch sounded better. ( not her fault he's oiled up and — are those leather pants? ) I mean, there's Blue Springs, I don't know if it's totally melted yet. I was thinking maybe a kiddie pool for the backyard?

[istoriografos]

Okay!

[ Cool, good to know. Maybe his answer is a little shrill, too. Can you blame him? He's just trying to help! ]

Are you even hungry?

[creatio]

( Everything is a mess and weirdly enough all Clary can think is why is he so goddamn shiny. )

No. I don't think so. Maybe?

( Mostly she feels like she wants to take a nap at the bottom of the lake, but who knows if the gnawing in her stomach is hysteria or hunger. )

video | un: whipsmart

[sororis]

[Izzy's very much split down the middle amused as hell and extremely worried.]

What the hell happened??

[HAVEN'T YOU LEARNED NOT TO DRINK HALLUCINOGENIC MAGIC WATER YET, CLARY]

Do you need anything else? Sea shells? [Okay, she's definitely back to cracking up.]

[recoined]

( kimberly's just entirely unimpressed by this entire chain of events. )

What happened? Oh, Clary just thought it'd be fun to go swimming in a questionable body of water, I guess, because now she's a fucking mermaid, Iz!

( HELP. )

... actually, if you have a bikini top handy? ( pointedly, her voice rising to carry towards where clary is currently doing dolphin flips in the background. ) Then somebody could stop flashing me every time she tries to do a flip!

video| un: reyes

[acuerdo]

[well if that's not a whole hell of a lot different, he thinks. robbie's been firmly attached to a wrench, having heard talk of the wishing well — hard not to considering that everyone is a buzz with gossip about it — but not yet ventured to visit the location.]

I'm good for some heavy lifting... [as is kimberly but that's not the point here is it?] but is Clary in any danger if you leave her there long enough to go stop by a market for fish?

Or is she one of those vegetarian mermaids?

[as soon as the words leave his mouth he shakes his head at how completely ridiculous this is. also, that clary can no doubt hear him asking about her as if she can't hear. time to fix that.]

Sorry, Clary. Did you want a seaweed salad or maybe a tuna sandwich?

[roberto, please. this is not helping.]

[recoined]

( he's just lucky she hasn't started texting him to bring water in the trunk of his car. baby's not answering his phone, and she hasn't found anyone to bring her a wheelbarrow or a suitcase or anything. )

She says she's not hungry. ( #eyeroll. ) But we can't just leave her here, Robbie, she has to get home. And I'm sorry, but I'm not going without showers just so she can live in the bathtub.

( absolutely not. and she's pretty sure robbie and baby don't want kimberly hogging their bathroom too. )

Can you get a kiddie pool or something at the store that we can fill up? I know it's not summer yet but maybe somebody has something in the back? Or in storage?

[acuerdo]

No one's saying you have to give up showers. [he squints as he thinks about what he can offer up because he doesn't really like the idea of sharing the bathroom with yet another person. after a few seconds he has a eureka moment and a grin crosses his face.]

Don't they have showers at the gym that you can use?

I'd get a pool, but where are you going to put it? The backyard doesn't have that much cover. She probably shouldn't stay out in the sun.

And why aren't you focusing on figuring out how to fix her problem?

[recoined]

I am not hauling ass to the gym every time I want to take a shower. ( the nonplussed set of her mouth in a firm line should underline exactly how little kimberly likes that idea. ) It's bad enough I have to wait for you to get out half of the time, I'm not sharing with the entire gym.

( an exasperated click of her tongue against her teeth, and kimberly turns back to where clary is currently imitating a dolphin, tail flapping in boredom against the surface of the water. )

Oh, yeah, because I totally know how to fix a mermaid problem. Please, tell me, how should I be fixing this? Should I be speed-dialing Ursula the sea witch to take away Clary's voice in exchange for her legs back?

[istoriografos]

Does she usually... screech?

[ He's only spoken to Clary once but she was a perfectly normal, not-screechy young lady then. ]

Is a kiddie pool going to have enough water? And isn't she going to, you know, freeze?

[ Yes, they are leather pants. Don't say a word, Kimberly. ]

[istoriografos]

[ Don't ask about the shine. Don't. ]

And are you feeling like eating fish? Or vegetables? Or like, a burger from In-and-Out? Like, outside of the obvious, are you feeling any different?

[creatio]

( ET TU, ISABELLE? )

I thought you were my friend. ( Whine, whine. Izzy she has a tail, a tail and no bra, take pity. ) We don't know what happened. I was just swimming and then --.

( Her tail splashes, getting water droplets on her phone. )

[creatio]

I'm not hungry.

( The whole drama has put her right off, but considering she doesn't know how long she'll be like this, it is something she has to worry about. )

I was just going to have ramen for dinner anyway. I could probably still eat that. Maybe. I don't think noodles are bad. It's not like dogs and chocolate.

( Is it? Why is this happening. )

[sororis]

[Isabelle chokes back a laugh, but nods and steels herself, swallows down the humor of the entire situation. It's still hilarious, but there will be time to laugh about it later. After it's taken care of. By the Angel...]

As a matter of fact, I do. I'll grab a few things and get out there. [All said while she begins digging through her room for a halter bikini top or three, and throws everything in a bucket from the bathroom. What she wouldn't do for a tarp. ….large garbage bag, maybe...]

[sororis]

I am your friend, Clary.

[She's the picture of maternal patience, though just beneath the surface is a mixture of amusement and distress. She never expected to be the Mom Friend, but here she is.]

I'm on my way right now with a bikini and we're going to figure this out. And then we can have a talk about you and lakes. [Okay, the amusement is winning out.]

[acuerdo]

But I'm guessing you will be at some point.

[he's more than a little out of his element. who knows what mermaids eat. he assumes something from the ocean, but cup of noodles doesn't sound like it'll be bad. maybe a little salty, but for an ocean dwelling creature...]

I can bring you some if you'd like. Or uh anything else you might need... [like clothes... maybe?]

[fadingspark]

[the video is of Stiles' eyes in a slit of bubblewrap]

I can try and levitate her into a pool or something. But if you're right by the wishing pond, why not just stay in the pond?

[recoined]

No. ( and thank god for that, truthfully, because kimberly would have smothered her in her sleep by now if screeching was a regular, everyday thing. ) She's normally way more normal than this. Like, not even counting the mermaid tail.

( listen, okay, she doesn't see anybody else coming up with great ideas here. don't knock the kiddie pool prematurely. )

Do mermaids freeze? I don't know if they freeze or not. ( a beat. ) Clary, do you think you'll freeze?

( of course, there's no answer, because clary has found herself suddenly preoccupied by combing her hair with a plastic fork she's somehow found. seriously? )

Maybe a portable hot tub?

[recoined]

Oh, thank god. We'll be here.

( and they literally will be, because clary can't go anywhere at the moment... and kimberly's somehow decided to stick this trauma out with her. what a good friend she's being. )

If there's supposed to be some kind of carrying case for her stele, maybe bring that too. I don't think her tail has pockets.

[recoined]

I can't just leave her in the pond? ( like, how is that not obvious? ) There's no food here, okay, and her hair is going to be disgusting if she swims around in pond water for whoever knows how long it'll take before she un-mermaids.

... if she un-mermaids. Oh my god, this is a disaster.

[acuerdo]

Because you don't shower at the gym already after work? [hey, it's a logical suggestion.] My morning routine doesn't even take that long...

[robbie please. a twenty minute shower and shave followed by vigorous teeth maintenance is not exactly fast]

Uh? [he's not exactly the disney channel's target audience, hence the puzzled look.] How the hell am I supposed to know? But why don't you try going to the local clinic?

Or the animal hospital????