( 'Sup Cuddle City. It's ya girl, Clarissa, currently wearing the finest of ugly christmas sweaters, hair pulled into a messy knot on top of her head. )

So I know, I know, I was totally tempting fate with my wardrobe choice, but in my defence I'm new to this whole momming business.

( No, this isn't a case of attempted miracle births. She's been there, done that. In fact, the real meaning becomes apparent when there's the sound of skittering claws behind her followed by something rolling. The camera drops down to where the fluffiest of ginger cats is now attempting to stalk a bauble across Clary's bedroom floor, shredded tinsel and bits of fake pine in its wake. She lifts the phone a little more to show the small christmas tree now hung lopsided from her desk, clearly having been pulled down in a rampage.

When she focuses her attention back on the network, Clary's smile is wry and helpless. )

This isn't even the first time! I moved it up there two days ago. So, does anyone know how to cat proof a tree or am I going to be forever doomed to brushing glitter off my carpet?

( Said cat in question leaps to the her desk chair and meows loudly, as if to deliver his verdict and Clary rolls her eyes dramatically. )

You're so not getting any turkey.

( Bye guys. )