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( 'Sup Cuddle City. It's ya girl, Clarissa, currently wearing the finest of ugly christmas sweaters, hair pulled into a messy knot on top of her head. )

So I know, I know, I was totally tempting fate with my wardrobe choice, but in my defence I'm new to this whole momming business.

( No, this isn't a case of attempted miracle births. She's been there, done that. In fact, the real meaning becomes apparent when there's the sound of skittering claws behind her followed by something rolling. The camera drops down to where the fluffiest of ginger cats is now attempting to stalk a bauble across Clary's bedroom floor, shredded tinsel and bits of fake pine in its wake. She lifts the phone a little more to show the small christmas tree now hung lopsided from her desk, clearly having been pulled down in a rampage.

When she focuses her attention back on the network, Clary's smile is wry and helpless. )

This isn't even the first time! I moved it up there two days ago. So, does anyone know how to cat proof a tree or am I going to be forever doomed to brushing glitter off my carpet?

( Said cat in question leaps to the her desk chair and meows loudly, as if to deliver his verdict and Clary rolls her eyes dramatically. )

You're so not getting any turkey.

( Bye guys. )

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( simba knocks over everything. it's not exclusive to the tree, or even things just in clary's room, which is why kimberly's taken to keeping anything particularly breakable or anything she wants to keep cat hair-free behind the safety and security of her bedroom door. not that it seems to matter very much when said cat seems to have a knack for sneaking in anyway, but that's not the point.

the point is, she can't help but laugh from her nook on the couch, buried under a half dozen mismatched blankets, as clary's voice rings out. kimberly at least has the courtesy to not interrupt her impromptu video post, choosing to wait until after the redhead ends the feed before voicing her opinions. )

You could just give the cat back to Jace, you know. It might starve, but your sad fake tree would live to see another day.

( probably, anyway. she's not sure how much she trusts clary's supposed green thumb. )

Jace wouldn't let him starve.

( When Clary exits her bedroom it's with Simba firmly ensconced in her arms. He looks a little disgruntled, but that's par for the course when he's taken away from his true passion of fucking shit up. ) But I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to leave knives where cats can play with them, so. ( So Clary keeps him. Besides, she is fond of him. Christmas ruining beside.

She doesn't even ask permission when she reaches the couch, just flops down beside Kimberly, plucking one of the blankets so she can slide under it. Simba gets placed on her lap but he's more interested in rubbing his head against Kimberly's covered knee. Clary lets out a wordless hum, dropping her head to the back of the couch and closing her eyes. She's maybe been a little bit clingy, recently. Isabelle's gone and -- well. If her friend has noticed her being a little more present, she's been good enough not to say anything about it. )

Also, the tree is not sad. It's doing it's best.

Edited 2017-12-11 15:21 (UTC)

Hate to break it to you, but I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to leave anything where cats can play with them. ( ie, look at our disaster of a living room, clary fray, and the evidence of your fluffy hellion beast throughout. the blankets are only mismatched because simba likes to use them as a nesting space in the middle of the night, so kimberly's stopped bothering to fold them or even put them away when she's done. what's the point when the cat's just going to drag them out again? ) Or eat them. Like he ate my flowers.

( the important flowers. the ones she got on her first — well, not first, but actual — date. she's still a tiny bit bitter about that. not that the bitterness keeps her from absentmindedly patting the top of simba's head, or from rolling her eyes affectionately as he continues to nudge her knee. don't look at her like that. she doesn't like the cat, she's just cold. it's clearly affecting her reasonable mind. )

The whole Christmas thing is sad here. I never thought I'd miss tacky Mariah Carey covers in the mall.

He's sorry. Aren't you, Simba?

( Actually, he looks the least sorry and is mostly vying for more attention from both of the girls. Clary has the worst of children. This is her life now. ) If only there was an obedience school for cats. ( Except, they will not be trained. She's a little like that herself. Maybe that's why she likes him. Maybe that's why she can never actually get angry. ) I wanted to get a Menorah. You know, so I could still light the candles for Simon even though he's not here. But I'm kind of worried it'd meet the same fate as the tree.

( A house fire is not on her Christmas list. )

Maybe I should do something else.

( Giving Simba the side-eye. )

Right? The minute that terrible drumming kicks in I know it's Christmas.

( and this is why kimberly hasn't adopted a pet of her own. between simba's incessant need to casually destroy their entire apartment (not to mention his creepy tendency to watch things he definitely should not be watching) and napoleon's wrinkly faced reign of needy terror, she's quite satisfied with her pet aunt duties. no need to add another animal to the mix.

at the mention of candles, though, her brow arches a bit; reshifting her weight lets her pull the cat a little more firmly into her lap, where she can monopolize his warmth. )

I... definitely don't think lit candles are the way to go with this guy, but we could do something. Maybe some of those fake candles, the battery kind. I have a few tealight holders, we could put them up on the mantle, out of reach. ( well... ) Out of reach ish.

( she considers it for a moment, looking around the room as if the answer will pop out at her from behind a coat rack or a chair. )

I don't even think this place is doing an actual Christmas party or anything. ( which is a damn disgrace, if you ask her. ) We should have one here.

Battery operated sounds like a good idea. At least if he somehow knocks them down all we have to worry about is cracked plastic.

( Honestly, it's like having a toddler. )

Ooh. ( Clary's already perking up. At least now she has her eyes open and she's no longer quite as slumped on the couch. ) We could get Baby to make us a terrible Christmas playlist. It'd maybe help him keep his mind off things. ( Like Isabelle. ) And I could always beg Magnus for a little extra Christmas magic.

( Because he'll be coming to the party whether he likes it or not. Maybe it'll mean he and Alec get some time to talk. )

( isabelle's arrival had been the focus of so many of kimberly's insecurities coming to the surface, her own worries and fears exacerbated by the sheer fact that they shared so many friends in common, and while kimberly had long since gotten over those fears, having been reassured of her place within her friends' lives, she wasn't exactly sad to see her go. a christmas party with the three of them, plus their nearest and dearest, sounded like exactly the kind of thing they'd need to go back to the happier place they were in before. )

Robbie will help. I mean... not that I think we really need the house on fire or anything, but he can reach the cabinets. ( she'll put him to work hanging christmas lights or something. who knows. ) And I don't know if you've met Trini yet? But she's artsy, maybe you guys could paint something. A backdrop for pictures, maybe? Like the photobooths at the ball, but more Pinterest-y.

( that's not a word, but she's making it a word. )

Oh! ( before she forgets. ) And I don't care what it looks like, but ugly sweaters are definitely a requirement.

( Clary has her own feelings on the matter, but she's chosen to leave them unvoiced. She misses her friend, but she missed her before too. From the little she knows about what's to come, she's at least sure Isabelle will be safe. That takes the edge off. She's certainly in no rush to leave herself. She has friends in this world, as well as Jace and Alec. She has time. )

Oh good, because I didn't really want to try and find a ladder. ( Who let two short people live in a house together.

At the mention of Trini though, Clary flaps her hand. ) That's the girl who was so not into playing 'Would You Rather' the proper way! But if she's coming to the party, I already told her we'd go with 'Never Have I Ever' so we're going to need alcohol. ( It's very, very important, okay? )

Obviously. But I'm going to get a new one. The network's already seen this magnificent sweater. ( Indicating the one she's wearing. ) I'm going to have to figure out how to force Jace and Alec into them though.

( though she doesn't say it, kimberly can only wish clary the best of luck in attempting to get any kind of truth out of trini. even with alcohol in the mix, the girl was incredibly tight-lipped when it came to personal secrets. )

I think alcohol was kind of a given, but yeah, I can pick some up. Do you want anything in particular, or just some punch? ( maybe she can persuade the guy behind the counter at metamalt to give her some of the fizzy stuff she tried the last time she was there. it'd be kind of fun to float at her own party. at least then she could come down onto pillows instead of the sidewalk outside. ) I hope you're not one of those weird people who thinks eggnog is good, Clary.

( because she will judge you. mercilessly. eggnog is gross. )

Oh, and just tell them they have to. Maybe pout a little, threaten to cry, you know. Whatever works. Or bribe Alec with candy canes, that worked for me.

( Clary's eyes widen a little as she effects a guilty expression. ) It's a tradition! ( But it fades immediately, her nose scrunching as she laughs. ) We should have some, just so we can spring it on people who've never tried it. ( AKA Shadowhunters. ) But punch is good. I saw gingerbread liqueur the other day, maybe I can google some recipes.

( She pulls her phone from her pocket and opens up the notepad, typing away. ) Should we get mistletoe? We should totally get mistletoe. ( Though maybe certain people aren't in a Christmassy mood. ) Maybe some dumb board games? I wonder if this world has 'Cards Against Humanity'. ( She is definitely getting into it now. )

Wait, what did you bribe Alec into?

I'm not kissing you under the mistletoe. ( but she's on board with the idea, obviously. imagine kimberly hart turning down an opportunity to get smooched on demand. as if. ) I think Jace would have a heart attack.

( gingerbread liqueur sounds like the kind of thing someone buys when they want to die of a holiday-themed hangover, so she makes a mental note to not drink anything clary winds up making with it. she'll stick with her party punch, thanks very much. )

I could ask Cisco. He might have it. Worst case scenario, we could just make the cards, it can't be that hard to cut out some paper squares.

( but as far as bribery is concerned, her lips are sealed. )

And sorry, but I'm sworn to secrecy. You'll have to ask him.

He'd just have to deal with it!

( But no, she is going to behave. She's too in love to think about anything else, let alone anyone else. Apart from her plan to give Alec an actual heart attack, she'll keep it pg-13. )

We should definitely make up some new cards. What's the point in being in a multiverse if we can't get oddly specific with our terrible lives?

( There's definitely a pout there, but she'll find out. Mark her words. )

[ even the angel can't help clary's atrocious fashion choices. all of this is a disaster. an absolute fucking disaster. and alexander lightwood loves it. ]

Yeah. [ if he doesn't look and sound smug, well ... alec's smiling. the world's about to collapse in itself. ] Wear that.

( IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE. ALEC LIGHTWOOD IS SMILING. )

I am wearing it.

( Duh.

But there's something far more important than her choice of attire. ) So, what's Kimberly got on you? ( She heard about the bribery, yo. )

[ the smile fades into a firm line. ] Nothing.

[ it comes a little quicker than it should. alec's unimpressed look is actually put on. does he want to smile? perhaps. ]

Nothing as bad as that sweater.

[ also something alec will not admit: he likes being a bitch sometimes. ]

[Hi, Clary, have a Laurel with actual helpful information.]

Use cat deterrent sprays or citrus sprays on the tree so that the cat doesn't think it smells like fun. Most of the manufactured sprays don't have any kind of odor that humans will notice.

[Take this advice from the one disasterous Christmas where the Queen-Lance-Merlyn family played keep away with Thea's Christmas kitten.]

Or make sure you have a really sturdy tree stand, and place the more delicate ornaments towards the top.

Citrus sprays? So that's why he was mad at me when I had that smoothie.

( Or maybe he just thought it was gross. )

[Laurel nods a bit.]

Citrus smells are a turn off for their little feline noses. I don't know why, but it kept my roommate's cat out of my bedroom back in college.

Today I learned I'm part cat. I hate the smell of oranges.

( Get thee gone, Satan. )

But I'm going to let Kimberley know about this. Simba keeps breaking into her room and I think she's on her last nerve.

[Yep, Laurel knows the feeling.]

That, and getting into the habit of keeping her door closed usually does that trick.

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→ video | un: clarifying

action. i do what i want.

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VIDEO. UN: LIGHTGRIP

/fills your inbox.

shit this is not what i wanted!!!

video ; @dl.lance }

i'm sorry this is so late omg.

no worries, i'm even later

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